I now bring to you a message from Barack Obama!
Hey Black folks! Come volunteer for my election campaign! Yes, admittedly, I just noticed that you were still here in America. And yes, your unemployment rates are high as hell! And yeah, I did just kill the Keystone XL Pipeline deal, a deal that would have brought thousands of jobs, that you folks in the black community would have benefited from. So what? I have the environment to consider!!! Yes I remember touring the country in my big black megabus, and no my GPS doesn’t enter inner city locales!
Basically it looks like I don’t give a whit about y’all. And if I’m being honest, I don’t! But now I need to be reelected and I know that you are loyal to a fault and you only watch MSNBC, so I don’t need to bother with pesky little things like facts, or reducing job killing regulations! Regulations are your friends!!! Just say that to yourself every time you can’t find a good paying job in the private sector.
I don’t care that most blacks are church going folk, cause I don’t go to church myself. And beans on all of that religious freedom you Black Catholics! You will pay for abortion (you already do through your taxes) and you will now pay for it through your tithes and church donations because no one is exempt from my largesse to my buds at Planned unParenthood! Just deal with it.
Now I know you all are concerned about education. I’m taking care of that by killing that wonderful little DC Opportunity scholarship program that benefits inner city kids. I got my union pals to take care of, ya know? Michelle has the rest covered by ensuring that all children are deprived of sodas and fries. That ought to take care of the education piece.
Anyhoo… Back to my re-election. Now I have a cool website with lovely pics of blacks and stuff. And I want you to go there and sign up to work for me. For free. I mean – seriously! You have the time on your hands, cause you don’t have a job to go to!!! Now excuse me. I have to lay out my golf togs for tomorrow and Michelle is frying up some lobster tails for the fam.